Leaving

I don’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t want me,

but if there is the slightest chance that he does,

I don’t want to leave. -BB

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I am what I am

You can stop telling me what you want,

it’s just another way of you telling me what I’m not.

-BB

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again

Eminem. Fin. haha just kidding but I had to.

Hello Followers!

SO I know I usually post some poems or inspirational quotes, (which I still will be doing) but occasionally I want to start posting a little short story line slash, rant slash, life experience passage every now and again just to break and relate with everyone on a different kind of level than usual. (I hope.)  And I’ll try to keep them short because even I find reading to be a chore in a busy life style.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything obviously, but I’ve come to a new and weird chapter in my life where I HAVE NO IDEA what else to do or hope for. I’ll be 29 this year (I know gross already) and I have been living with my parents all these years. Up until about 2 months ago I got into an argument with my mom and she ended up kicking me out. I had a boyfriend at the time (whom I’ve been in love with for years, another story to share at another time) and so I was able to stay with him a few nights a week. BUT I didn’t have the courage to tell him about my situation. UNTIL I FINALLY DID. And guess what, the bastard said it was “too much” for HIM and he dumped me. I lived in my car for a few weeks. (FYI you are allowed to park overnight at Walmart Parking lots AND if you have a gym membership [which thankfully I did] that is where I took my showers and used the restroom most times). I ended up making up with my parents and went back to a job that I really didn’t want to work at full time, but they ended up giving me a raise ….and… well that’s where I am now. Only now I actually have 3 jobs. (another story)

I just go day by day, mostly just feeling numb and not very optimistic about anything anymore. I feel I’m just gona work my jobs now and hopefully get a place soon to survive by myself. Obviously I’m the creative type. Any free time I get I write or paint or draw trying to make some happiness for myself. I still apply and try to do these things I love for a living, but for now this is all I got. I wont make this a pitty party, I’m just hoping to reach out to those who are feeling similar. We are still living even though we may not be in it whole-heartedly. Maybe better things are to come, but take it from me and hang out in this robotic like state until that break comes for us.

I’m a chronic klutz so I have many stories to come to hopefully keep you going on day by day with me. I’m also here if you have questions or need to vent.

Stay tuned. Love, Lone Lady Gatsby.

We Live A Line

You’re the kind that lives in circles.

The curves bringing you back when you stray.

 

I followed you seeing how nice it was

to always have somewhere to go.

But I soon realized it was nowhere new.

 

Our paths are destined to be lived in a line which you keep avoiding.

I broke free moving forward hoping you would follow,

instead, you rounded another corner. -BB